Cambridge Stereotypes (so true)
The Marxist
Jess is just like Che. Well, like Che would be if he was a girl and went to Cheltenham Ladies College. She’s in her third year SPS at King’s. She was disgusted at the University for telling the Law Faculty protesters that they might be, like, breaking University rules if they didn’t stop the protest sharpish. So much so, she even thought about ripping up her King’s Affair ticket in protest. She proclaims solidarity for Gaza, campaigns against the arms trade and flies the red flag. She just doesn’t tell her comrades in intifada that she funds her summer trips to Vietnam with an internship at PwC.
The International Rower
Tron is in his first year at St Edmunds. Despite being barely able to read and write English, he decided that studying Land Economy at Cambridge was the next logical step after winning the World Rowing Championships with the Norwegian VIII. Tron is rarely seen around Cambridge, spending most of his time rowing in Ely, grunting loudly in Goldie boathouse, eating superhuman quantities of pasta or wondering why everyone else in Cambridge always seems to have work to do.
The Drinking Society Member
The proudest moment of Tom’s life was immediately after downing two pints of his own vomit on the weekend of his Wyverns’ initiation. You see, at school, Tom was always picked on for being clever, for not fitting in. Sitting, covered in puke, wearing nothing but a loincloth, he belonged. Though sometimes, even with his popularity, Tom wishes he could have conversation, rather than ‘banter’, a quiet night in rather than an ‘epic night’ drinking until he passes out, a first rather than a 2.II.
The Christian Union Member
Sarah loves god. You can tell that from the two year old cross-examined hoody she hasn’t taken off since. She loves studying engineering at Cambridge too, but sometimes she gets worried about being around so many sinners. She herself was nearly led astray in freshers’ week. But, as she tells herself, anyone could have made the mistake of thinking that the Newnham Nuns were a Christian group extolling the virtues of abstinence and restraint. Thankfully, she discovered Newnham CU, and while they are not as ‘wild’ as the Nuns, some of their tea parties do get pretty crazy. One time, they stayed up to nearly eleven o’clock. But it’s not all play, they do do serious things too, like working out who in their college is most likely to go to hell and trying to save their souls.
